I don’t remember where I heard about The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World but it sounded right up my alley so I bought it somewhat blind. I had no idea the author was a pastor—I really just bought it based on the title, lulz—but the religious angle didn’t bother me. (some of the Amazon reviews complain that the religious aspect isn’t quite correct but I don’t know about all that)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28–30

The gist of the book is in order to have an “easy yoke” we have to live as Jesus lived. We complain that we are overburdened, too busy, stressed, etc but we do nothing about it—because it’s actually pretty hard to change our habits in that regard. You have to prioritize your peace and spirit over the various things that grab our attention.

I felt a little called out because he refers to other similar books—Essentialism in particular—that I have read. And yet…have I implemented those ideas? Not totally. I mean, I did install a Firefox extension that hides my Facebook feed. But I don’t really prioritize my peace—lately I have been doing it by accident just by virtue of the pandemic and nobody is inviting me anywhere. 🙂

It’s like the spiritual version of that Ronnie Coleman quote: “Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder but don’t nobody want to lift no heavy-ass weight.” Everybody wants a peaceful life but don’t nobody wanna delete they Facebook?

I have been trying to implement some of the ideas, in particular, spending less time on my phone—especially in public spaces.

I used to have so many interesting stories from people watching. To be fair, I was also riding the Baltimore Light Rail every day, which was a treasure trove. But—would I have noticed all that stuff if I had been on my phone? (I didn’t have one at the time. Phones were not so smart yet) I drive everywhere now which really cuts down on the people watching but when I AM in public I definitely default to my phone.

Two things that I think are interesting:

1. A lot of the time I don’t actually WANT to be on my phone, but I feel like I “have” to out of some weird habit
2. I sometimes worry that people will think there’s something wrong with me that I’m not on my phone! Like, is it so wrong that I might be unoccupied, maybe even bored, in public?

#2 is easily assuaged: everybody else is too busy on their phones to notice. #1 is probably something I should cultivate. Why should I look at that stupid thing anyway?

I have done my best to defang my phone by removing social media apps—if I want to look at social media I have to install the app (or login on the web versions, which are pretty universally bad because they want you to use the app) and uninstall/logout when I’m done, a pain in the ass on purpose—and moving email and the browser off my home screen (because they cannot be uninstalled). I still manage to eff around on my phone but at least I have that extra barrier to give myself time to stop.

So far I haven’t had any major revelations, other than enjoying a really beautiful afternoon on a bench while waiting for an appointment and noticing somebody was wearing really cute shoes at the doctor’s office. I regret not asking where she got them. 🙂

PS I am pleased to say that I’ve always been good about not getting my phone out when socializing with others. I understand that many people don’t perceive it as rude so I try not to take it personally when others do it. But I think it’s kinda rude. 😛